7:30 pm 10/10/2007 wednesday
im sitting in ofc wondering wat the heck im acheivin in life..while all my colleagues get good competitive coding work i get technical documentation work which in the words of my PL is "a big responsibility vishal..becos on seeing ur technical documents only the customer wil understand the technical nuances of the code..u dont worry abt the code..others wil take care of it"...in much simpler terms.."vishal..u suck at coding"...
rite nw thers a guy(my cube mate..he's in sme laomv project) speaking on the phone..guess its sme onsite guy...our man is telling tht fello " bala it cant be done for the first 2 FR5 test cases..no validation required..ya... ya ok sure..done"...wat ok sure...wat done?
at this moment i look around at wats written on the white boards of my 3 cube mates(guy tlkin on the phone included)....
first fello's board:YO2 issue-->resolved..
YO3 issue--->resolved..
AXY-TEST--->Rev team
second fello's board(its a girl actlly):IBM Lotus notes installation, BAPI,IDOC,abap training schedule...
third fello's:TR--ARDK934768.ARDK903410 status : pending..
fourth fello's:10:00--->first coffe brk
12:30---> lunch break..
3:00--->second cof..o bluddy its my own white board only..sorry abt tht...
8:30 pm...ok its 8:22 acttly
u mite be irresistably tempted to wonder hw come i've done only so little in 1 hr......................ok nw u kno wy i suck at coding .....
now i can hear some sounds comin from...(oooo bbaby..here comes sonia..il jyst gwt out my flip mobil to impress her....damn she's gone....she's a babe ok...she has this crazy effect on me...i start doing crazy things...if u din notice i mistyped 'just' and 'get' in the prev line...its the 'sonia' effect)..so wat was i sayin..i can hear sounds from...damn i forgot...
and nw thers this girl called sharon..v sweet girl(with a blinding smile and a hunk of a BF) frm the adjacent cube askin me wat im typin so seriously..wait il just answer her...................ok since i cant be typin code(and evrybody here knows tht) i had to tel her tht im preparing tech docus...i hate lyin but u must understand tht my maanam(or watever is left of it) is at stake here...
8:35
bluddy im feelin hungry..nw wat to do...i flip open my purse(shivaji rajnikant style)....lets see...now wat do we hav here?....sme bluddy change,sme notes..some bills( ah jst rememberd i need to claim my deputation expenses),and my trusty icici debit card...ah i see my PM surya going out...a sight for sore eyes..actlly he's a nice guy only...chumma for putting scene i said 'sight for sore eyes' and all...
ah here comes danny...v nice guy(with a hunky physique and a GF with a blinding smile)....he tells me bye...he calling sharon now..she tells me bye,,,(damn tht smile again...damn u danny...damn u to heck u %^&*&**)...i give them both a big smile...both head fr thr door...malayalee couple only....happy couple...
%^&*&**---------> swear words i decline to translate as there may be grown ups reading this...
wait wait my phone is ringin..who can this beee...anush subramanian..(wat the heck does this loser want?)...hi macha anush..long time da...hw are wife and kids...?
Moral : ONE HOUR AND FIVE MINUTES OF MY OFFICE LIFE = ONE HOUR AND FIVE MINUTES OF MY LIFE WASTED
Friday, October 12, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Taggings!
Anush tags me... click this to see what he wrote.
Q. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it?
A. its in an awkward area so cant pick it but il tel u hw i got it...funny story...once my grandma was knitting woolen sox for her kitten with her 15 inch needle...i was standing next to her..........everything else is a blur...
Q. What does your phone look like?
A. o wait wait...let me guess let me guess.........frankly i dont care
Q. What is on the walls of your bedroom?
A. tel me..do u work for the CIA?
Q. What is your current desktop picture?
A. i have a right to remain silent
Q. Do you believe in gay marriage?
A. If i say yes,are u goin to propose to me?
Q. What do you want more than anything right now?
A. As of now i want to get out of this company.
i also want to kiss this babe from the HR dept....
wait a minute...i kiss the HR babe and get automatically kicked out of the company...i can do that..
Q. What time were you born?
A. a quarter past 2...nt sure if it was am or pm ok..from inside the labour room u really cant tel...
Q. Last person who made you cry?
A. sania mirza...she's gt this new hairdo...i laffed til i cried..
Q. What is you favorite perfume/cologne?
A. wat can u afford?
Q. What kind of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex?
A. the last time i had to think so much for an answer was for my first mid term math exam i took during my second std..after tht i realised exams wer for ignorant ppl...
Q. What are you listening to?
A. strippers...o wat am i listeneing to eh?..strip club music..
Q. Do you get scared of the dark?
A. of course..and im proud of it...
Q. Do you like pain killers?
A. i am one..
Q. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
A. no not at all....say wat u doing this weekend?
Q. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
A. a i've actlly just eaten lunch now..heavy it was..so as of now gelusil wud do good...syrup or tablet...
Q. Who was the last person you made mad?
A. my psychiatrist
Q. Is anyone in love with you?
A. are u really this curious or u just tryin to annoy me?
Action!
its amazing how in some parts of the world but more so in india the smallest of problems can make a huge impact somewer else...sme place wer it doesnt matter at all..in my view this is just a way for insecure ppl to draw attention to themselves..smething starts in one place and ends up smewer else...
1.for example karunanidi sittin in TN thinks he's elvis starts commentin on the liquor and tobacco related urges of sme prince in ayodhya who lived eons back (nt sure abt the tobacco but i tght it added punch)
EFFECT: ppl get killed in Assam..yes assam..north india..nt even south..NORTH....and wats happend to mr k'nidhi? nothing at all...makes no sense does it?
2.saddam hussein gets executed...ppl in iraq celebrate..finally...the iraqis are ecstatic...
EFFECT:the effect is felt a few 1000 kms away..bandh...hartal..house stoning...' few 1000 kms means where da?' u mite ask...
ANS: kerala....
'aiyooo...for wat reason da?' u mite ask...
ANS: dei bugger i said kerala no?...
3.i sit on my butt (actlly evryone does.. sreeshanth being a glorious exception..he STANDS on his butt) and write code from my bangalore office..
EFFECT:ppl smewer in phoenix, arizona start tearing their hair...(ok in this case the site of impact matters..at least to me)
4.sreeshanth perfroms mating rituals usually employed by primates in the early 19th century in front of mathew hayden and andrew symonds....
EFFECT: britney spears goes back into rehab with a broken heart...wat the heck!!!
i think wen it comes to interviews indians are the most immature and boring with no sense of humor in their replies watsoever...save for a few guys like shah rukh,john abrhm ,omar abdullah,anush subramanian...and even robin uthappa..... ok im sayin tht becos he comes to my church...also sme girls like priyanka chopra,amrita rao,farah khan giv witty replies...but still are a majority of indian celebrities really thinkin wat they say?
RaviShastri( to dhoni aftr winning the 2020):So dhoni great feeling after winning the cup?
MSD:yes ravi..it's a great feeling..the boys played bold criket...i always knew tht we wud win this cup frm the begining....we r young...we r fearless..we hav no emotions..AUS watch out..SA watch out..PAK watch out...
wat MSD's acttly thinkin:(i have absolutely no clue as to how we won..however now tht we've won..sachin watch out...sourav watch out..rahul watch out...)
RS:Big win fr the boys tday MSD....bla bla bla. .wat plans..blabla.cash prize of 2 million usd to the team..thts a whole lot of money isnt it dhoni?
MSD:no ravi...money doesnt matter..wat matters is we played as a unit and stuck together and enjoyed ourselves..blablabla...
wat he's thinkin:(2 million USD = 9 cr rupees..so this means i get ..hmm lets see now..900,00,000/11 = ......screw the 12th man.. and the coach..btw whos the coach??)
RS:and wat abt the team coach dhoni?did he have a big role to play?
MSD:err..obviously ravi..he was a constant source of inspiration...
wat he's thinkin:(shit!!we have a coach eh?)
RS to our frend S Sreeshant: great performance sree...it was good to see u display sme raw aggression against the aussies...
SS:i swear ravi...im nt scared of anyone..im a real man...i was really charged up after they called me gay..i wanted to prove to them im not..
wat sree's actlly thinkin:
(things to do:1. call up mummy
2. call up swami sri pishardy gowrishankar(dance guru)
2. call up swami sri sri nayinte moan(yoga guru)
3. call up swami sri sri sri (to the power sri) kayendhi bavan(pujari cum astrologer cum first love)
4. call up paico toyland(toy store)
5. call up unni kuttan's lollipop store
6. call up chakara kuttan's sex store
7. call up hayden/symonds whoevrs free
)
RS:so sree wen u sledged wer u aware of the fact that india wil be touring australia smetime soon?
SS:DAMN!! i forgot...
wat he's thinkin:(AIYO!!!..NJAAN MARRANU...which translates to---->DAMN!!! I FORGOT(exclamation marks included..))..
ok in some areas the buggers maintain consistency in speech and thought...and btw 'aiyo' doesnt directly translate to 'damn' but it made u laf rite?no eh?ok it made u smile?again u say no eh?ok at least it sparked off sme reaction?again no eh? wat the *&^*(__@#$
1.for example karunanidi sittin in TN thinks he's elvis starts commentin on the liquor and tobacco related urges of sme prince in ayodhya who lived eons back (nt sure abt the tobacco but i tght it added punch)
EFFECT: ppl get killed in Assam..yes assam..north india..nt even south..NORTH....and wats happend to mr k'nidhi? nothing at all...makes no sense does it?
2.saddam hussein gets executed...ppl in iraq celebrate..finally...the iraqis are ecstatic...
EFFECT:the effect is felt a few 1000 kms away..bandh...hartal..house stoning...' few 1000 kms means where da?' u mite ask...
ANS: kerala....
'aiyooo...for wat reason da?' u mite ask...
ANS: dei bugger i said kerala no?...
3.i sit on my butt (actlly evryone does.. sreeshanth being a glorious exception..he STANDS on his butt) and write code from my bangalore office..
EFFECT:ppl smewer in phoenix, arizona start tearing their hair...(ok in this case the site of impact matters..at least to me)
4.sreeshanth perfroms mating rituals usually employed by primates in the early 19th century in front of mathew hayden and andrew symonds....
EFFECT: britney spears goes back into rehab with a broken heart...wat the heck!!!
i think wen it comes to interviews indians are the most immature and boring with no sense of humor in their replies watsoever...save for a few guys like shah rukh,john abrhm ,omar abdullah,anush subramanian...and even robin uthappa..... ok im sayin tht becos he comes to my church...also sme girls like priyanka chopra,amrita rao,farah khan giv witty replies...but still are a majority of indian celebrities really thinkin wat they say?
RaviShastri( to dhoni aftr winning the 2020):So dhoni great feeling after winning the cup?
MSD:yes ravi..it's a great feeling..the boys played bold criket...i always knew tht we wud win this cup frm the begining....we r young...we r fearless..we hav no emotions..AUS watch out..SA watch out..PAK watch out...
wat MSD's acttly thinkin:(i have absolutely no clue as to how we won..however now tht we've won..sachin watch out...sourav watch out..rahul watch out...)
RS:Big win fr the boys tday MSD....bla bla bla. .wat plans..blabla.cash prize of 2 million usd to the team..thts a whole lot of money isnt it dhoni?
MSD:no ravi...money doesnt matter..wat matters is we played as a unit and stuck together and enjoyed ourselves..blablabla...
wat he's thinkin:(2 million USD = 9 cr rupees..so this means i get ..hmm lets see now..900,00,000/11 = ......screw the 12th man.. and the coach..btw whos the coach??)
RS:and wat abt the team coach dhoni?did he have a big role to play?
MSD:err..obviously ravi..he was a constant source of inspiration...
wat he's thinkin:(shit!!we have a coach eh?)
RS to our frend S Sreeshant: great performance sree...it was good to see u display sme raw aggression against the aussies...
SS:i swear ravi...im nt scared of anyone..im a real man...i was really charged up after they called me gay..i wanted to prove to them im not..
wat sree's actlly thinkin:
(things to do:1. call up mummy
2. call up swami sri pishardy gowrishankar(dance guru)
2. call up swami sri sri nayinte moan(yoga guru)
3. call up swami sri sri sri (to the power sri) kayendhi bavan(pujari cum astrologer cum first love)
4. call up paico toyland(toy store)
5. call up unni kuttan's lollipop store
6. call up chakara kuttan's sex store
7. call up hayden/symonds whoevrs free
)
RS:so sree wen u sledged wer u aware of the fact that india wil be touring australia smetime soon?
SS:DAMN!! i forgot...
wat he's thinkin:(AIYO!!!..NJAAN MARRANU...which translates to---->DAMN!!! I FORGOT(exclamation marks included..))..
ok in some areas the buggers maintain consistency in speech and thought...and btw 'aiyo' doesnt directly translate to 'damn' but it made u laf rite?no eh?ok it made u smile?again u say no eh?ok at least it sparked off sme reaction?again no eh? wat the *&^*(__@#$
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
